Counting

i want to count the days since we've last spoken
tally the suns that have gone past
because the ritual fits with my patterns of obsession
the obsession that drove you away
i have not tallied
and i have not counted
i've even forgotten the day it was done
somehow the future without you
is not worth being conscious of
will it be years or will it be decades
before you remember me
if you remember, i hope you remember
will you know how long it's been?